Month: October 2018

Without a doubt, Christ is the greatest key to marital bliss.  Christ is the head of the house, the unseen guest at every meal; He is the silent listener to every conversation.  As the psalmist states, “Except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain.” Except Christ be allowed to build the home, its on shifting sand and will fail to be happy falling short of God’s master plan.  Jesus is the lily of the valley He’s the beautiful necessary ingredient to marital bliss.

Christ instituted only two institutions on earth.  They are the marriage/family and the Church.  Satan is trying hard to destroy both. Christ created the marriage covenant so couples could work jointly as partners in giving glory to Him, through their marriage.  He desires to bless marriage with joy and all good things.

However, Christ must be at the center of all lives and relationships. 

            In Geometry one learns: Things equal to the same thing are equal to each other, thus, if two people are properly related in a personal way to Jesus Christ, they will be properly related to each other.

In Arithmetic one learns: About the importance of the, “Common Denominator” and for Christian couples that must be Jesus Christ.  He is the constant in all equations of life.  Without Him there can be no whole number, person, or couple.

In Physics one learns: If two different objects both draw near the same third object, they will also draw nearer to one another.  By both husband and wife drawing closer to Jesus Christ, they will also draw closer to one another.  There is no excuse.  A truly Christian couple never needs to divorce, if Jesus is Lord.

God bless you,

Rev. Bill Haynes PhD

PO Box 55221, Tulsa, Okla., 74155

All Comments and Donations are Greatly Needed and Appreciated.

“CHURCH”
There are only two institutions on earth that were created by God. The first institution was marriage. The second institution was the Church. These two were created to complement one another. Couples and families have great responsibilities in serving the church. Each local church has a great responsibility to couples and families.
Churches that promote and provide for marriage and family health prosper. Churches that offer nothing to the family usually die. Local churches must preach and teach on marriage and the family often. Titus 2:2-8 teaches that the older men and women of the church should teach and train the younger men and women of the church. This is not being done in very many churches. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why marriages within congregations are ending too often in divorce. Then the reputation of the church suffers along with the suffering children caught in the middle. Churches need to offer expert Christian, biblical, counseling. Most pastors are very capable of marriage counseling but it is often too big a liability and time consuming. Churches need to equip couples and families with God’s agape (divine) love. Teaching and preaching on true love, commitment, forgiveness, parenting, spiritual bonding, and faith are essential. The church needs to guide these couples and families in daily devotional studies and provide fellowship with other mature Christian couples and families.
The Christian couple and family also need to be faithful to the church in attendance, tithes, offerings, prayer, and service. Couples and families who never attend or drop out of church are far more likely to become miserable or divorce. Hebrews 10:25a, “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another.” Without this mutual support between couples, families, and the church, neither prospers nor functions very well.

Dr. Bill Haynes – PO Box 55221, Tulsa, Okla., 74155 or 918-252-7758

“COOPERATION”
In this world of selfishness and immaturity, cooperation is almost a forgotten word. As a child in Sunday School we sang the chorus, “When we all work together how happy will be!” This is very true of married couples and families. The saying, “Let’s make beautiful music together” cannot be true without harmonious cooperation. To work together we must be of one mind and accord.
Married couples need to learn to work together with their gender strengths and differences to accomplish their life’s goals. It is still part of the husband’s role to provide and protect. It is still part of the wife’s role to keep the home and care for the children. Today’s financial pressures make both jobs extremely difficult. True love is seen in many ways. If the wife helps provide, then the husband should help keep the house and care for the kids. They are still primarily responsible for their roles, but out of true love be willing to cooperate by helping one another. By working together to get the necessities done, they will have more quality time for one another.
By submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God (Eph. 5:21), the Christian couple will be blessed. Many couples spend so much time fighting against one another they destroy themselves, their reputations, and limit God’s blessings.
Marriage has been described as two small rivers combining into one very large river. When the two rivers join there is tremendous impact and high powerful waves erupt. However, down stream they become far more powerful yet smoothly go to the same destiny. A good marriage requires a lot of maintaining. Always plan future goals and common causes to work on together. Otherwise, after years of drifting apart, when perhaps the children are almost grown, you will have nothing in common and your love for each other will be gone.
Cooperate with God, He will cooperate with you. Seek first the kingdom of God. United together in Christ we stand, divided we fall.
Dr. Bill Haynes – PO Box 55221, Tulsa, Okla., 74155 or 918-252-7758

“COMMITMENT”
We live in a day of disposable diapers and disposable everything else. If you don’t want a baby, dispose of it, get an abortion. If you don’t like your mate, dispose of, get a divorce. If you don’t want to be burdened with your elderly parents, dispose of them! The idea of finishing the job or doing the right thing doesn’t appeal to this selfish era. However, God is calling His people to commitment. A Christian must be committed to his Creator, Companion, Children, and Church. Phrases concerning commitment such as; in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, and till death do us part have become ancient history. Over half of all marriages end up in divorce.
There are reasons for shallow commitment. Parents, authority figures, and government leaders have modeled poor commitment. Entertainment sources, like television and movies teach everything but commitment. Even many church members have accommodating theology. If they don’t like the truth of God, they change it to fit their immoral lifestyle. Since God doesn’t zap people immediately very often most people feel they have a right to do wrong. At the root of shallow commitment is a major spiritual problem, sin.
If you are committed to God, there is hope. Persistent commitment to God’s will pays off. God defends unselfish commitment. Properly placed, commitment glorifies God. Your life is defined by your commitment to your relationships. If you cheapen and fail in your commitments in life, you will be an empty failure. By giving your life, you will gain it. Whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same will save it (Luke 9:24).
By praying and serving God together totally and unselfishly, your commitment to one another will be unbreakable. United together in Christ we stand, divided we fall! Keep your commitments to your Creator, Companion, Children, and Church so God can bless and fulfill you.

Dr. Bill Haynes – PO Box 55221, Tulsa, Okla., 74155 or 918-252-7758

“COMMUNICATION”
As long as there is communication, there is hope for any relationship. There are many barriers and bridges involved in communication. One barrier is excessive noise, it is epidemic. It is nearly impossible to communicate with the television, stereo, and video games vibrating the home. Excessive schedules, working too many hours, causing relationships to drift. One major barrier is foolish pride, “A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.” (Prov. 29:23). It is hard to communicate with someone who already knows it all. Dishonesty hinders people from listening to a word you say. Instead of listening, the hearer is busy doing, “Stinken-Thinkin.” Selfishness is another barrier. “Its my way or the highway.” This provides only a one way communication.
The bridges to communication are to eliminate the excessive noise, and spend more quality time just sharing from the heart. While, pride, dishonesty, and selfishness are barriers, humility, honesty, and maturity are bridges to communication. Forgiveness is an important bridge. Good listening skills are important. Developing mutual interests to share and talk about help. It has been said that communication is 55% body language and facial expression, while 38% is vocal tone and inflection, and only 7% are the actual words used.
It is very difficult to have good communication with your wife or children unless there is good communication with God as a couple and family. Family devotions are an important key to good communication. Sharing prayer requests keeps everyone informed about the welfare of one another.
Marital communication is a three-way conversation, if God’s not talking, He’s listening! Dwell together with understanding (or knowledge); hear one another out, respectfully. I Peter 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Dr. Bill Haynes – PO Box 55221, Tulsa, Okla., 74155 or 918-252-7758

“COMPANIONSHIP”
Companionship is one of the most important needs for both men and women. It is the opposite of loneliness. Companionship helps and encourages us. We are defined as individuals by our relationships. Without companionship in life, most never find purpose or fulfillment.
Most people marry to help fulfill this need for companionship and end the loneliness. Unfortunately more than half of these marriages end in divorce. Good companionship, like a good marriage, requires a lot of hard work and daily maintenance. Selfishness, pride, immaturity, and poor communication are usually what end companionship. You cannot have a happy marriage until you get a divorce from yourself. A good companion will want what is best for the couple or family. Thinking in terms of we or us rather than just me or what I want.
Companionship requires teamwork. Most couples and families separate house. They may all live under the same roof but that is about the only thing they have in common. They all have their own room, plans, checking accounts, and live virtually separate from one another with little communication. They drift apart and when a crisis requires teamwork they fail. Without developing true companionship, married people are only two, rather than one, lonely and unhappy people.
Ask yourself if you have a mate and family, are we growing together or drifting apart? Is our love growing? Are we still learning together? Are we still making plans for the future? Do these plans include God?
Jesus Christ is a friend, a companion that sticks closer than any brother. In Hebrews 13:5b Jesus promises, “I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.” If you learn companionship through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you will learn how to be a real companion to your mate, family, and loved ones.
True Godly companions can enjoy the mutual blessings and grace of God for all of life, if they seek Him in all their ways and decisions. Their prayers are never hindered and God supplies all their needs according to His riches in glory.
Dr. Bill Haynes – PO Box 55221 Tulsa, Okla., 74155 or 9182527758